Hacks Birthday Card

Some people age gracefully. Others age like a Vegas headliner with a devoted fanbase, an impressive collection of salt and pepper shakers, and enough emotional damage to fuel several seasons of prestige TV. Frankly, both are aspirational.

This card is for the friend who delivers one-liners with sniper precision, owns at least one dramatic caftan or tunic situation, and treats personal conflict as both a burden and an opportunity for material. Someone who prefers their birthday cards significantly less embarrassing than whatever glitter-covered nightmare currently exists in the Walgreen’s aisle next to the balloons and drain cleaner.

Perfect for comedians, wannabe comedians, or basically anyone surviving modern life through sarcasm, the Hacks cast and excellent tailoring.

Product Details:

• 5 x 7 inches of paper-based excellence
• Printed on heavyweight stock that actually holds up
• Blank inside for your thoughts
• Includes a kraft paper envelope for the full experience
• Ships safely in a rigid mailer because chaos is already everywhere else
• Every purchase helps support women’s cancer research

Be the friend with standards.