Fruit Wine Birthday Card

There’s something oddly life-affirming about watching a grown woman with a bold lip plow through a fruit wine commercial like she’s auditioning for the Royal Shakespeare Company. The English language is truly a playground; especially if you never learned the rules and refuse to start now.

This funny birthday card is for the friend who insists on saying “penultimate” when “second to last” would do. The one whose holiday card contains 5,000 words about a July trip to Branson. The one who — if we’re all being honest here — might actually be able to pull off a wide-brim hat indoors. The one whose vocabulary doubles after one glass of rosé.

Give it to them as both a compliment and a warning: They are Moira-level iconic, and you refuse to spend another year pretending otherwise, bebé.

Product Details:

• 5” x 7”
• Comes with a kraft paper envelope, because glamour should always arrive sustainably.
• Blank inside
• A small portion of this sale benefits women’s cancer research in memory of my mom, who had the biggest vocabulary of anyone I’ve ever known