{"product_id":"slow-internet-wedding-card","title":"Slow Internet Wedding Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eMarriage is beautiful. Deeply meaningful. A sacred bond between two people who will someday stand in the kitchen whisper-screaming “WHY IS THE WIFI LIKE THIS?” at each other behind their children’s adorable little heads while trying to queue up another goddamn episode of \u003ci\u003eBluey\u003c\/i\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAh, intimacy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis card is for couples who understand that true compatibility isn’t measured during Bahamian vacations or engagement photo shoots in suspiciously beige fields. It’s measured during moments of technological adversity: A frozen Zoom screen. A buffering circle. A PlayStation game that says it will take 8 days to download and apparently means it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAmong funny wedding cards, this one feels especially correct for the couple whose relationship is built on sarcasm, mutual patience, and occasionally asking, “Did you pay the Comcast bill?” in the tone of somebody uncovering political corruption (but, you know, back when that actually mattered).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for weddings, engagements, anniversaries, or simply honoring two people brave enough to merge streaming service passwords forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct Details:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA perfectly proportioned 5 x 7 inches\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted on heavyweight stock because flimsy is a crime\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlank inside for whatever you need to say\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes a kraft paper envelope for proper presentation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eShips safely in a rigid mailer because bent corners build character in absolutely no one\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEvery purchase helps fund women’s cancer research\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSend something worth keeping.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"prettygoodcards","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":55521542439080,"sku":"C220","price":8.41,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0605\/1296\/0680\/files\/funny-wedding-cards.jpg?v=1778701035","url":"https:\/\/www.prettygoodcards.com\/en-ca\/products\/slow-internet-wedding-card","provider":"Pretty Good Cards","version":"1.0","type":"link"}